Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Finding what was lost

Something wonderful has happened to my friend, Kat. Despite the numerous battles she has had to fight over the last several years and the little life annoyances that can throw you even deeper into despair she definitely had a silver lined cloud waiting for her.

Kat was placed into a foster home right from birth. She never knew her real mother and father. She always knew that she was adopted. So she didn't really know that she had siblings out there. All of them residing in Maine. In fact she went to high school with her full blooded sister and her sister knew but was told not to tell. Over twenty years later not only has Kat been reunited with her sister but has found out she also has two half brothers. They all share the same mother. This reunion would have never of taken place if the Today show did not run the story of the long lost brothers and sister yesterday. Check this out.
Now check this out!

I can't stress enough about the importance of allowing adopted children to be able to search for their families. I know that Kat would love to know more about her medical history but just knowing that you can have so much more than that is just the icing on top of the cake.

My husband and his best friend are both adopted. I know that both of them would love to know their siblings. Chris has three brothers and a sister out there somewhere and his best friend found out a little while ago that he also has a brother and a sister that he would love to find. That is so important to the both of them. However, most states do not have their adoption records readily accessible and what a shame! I think we need to revamp our adoption system and make a free registry to allow siblings to locate one another. Chris' siblings may not know how to find Chris because only two of them that we know of were put up for adoption and that was Chris and his brother David. The rest of the siblings stayed with their dad. They were also older.

I am so happy for Kat and her new found family. She deserves this and it couldn't have come at a better time for her!

Saturday, September 19, 2009

Back to Square one

Ok.. test for the tumor at the base of the tongue came back negative BUT... the doctor doesn't think that the pathologist examined all the tissues... SO... I have a PET scan set up in two weeks and in between another biopsy will be performed but ...on the neck this time. Basically we are back to square one. DAMN IT!!!

The doctor is pretty sure that there is no infection going on at all because the antibiotics that he had me take have not reduce the swelling of the lump in my neck or the mass at the base of my tongue. At this point his thinking is still cancer and it is just a matter of finding it. It may be a good thing that he is being so persistent because it could only be at phase 1 which is a very good thing to treat. The higher the phase the more invasive the treatments would be and right now I am hoping for the less invasive. I will keep you guys posted as I receive information. Right now all I want to really do is take a nap.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009


I am going to do my best to formulate into words what it is that I have been dealing with. Some of you may already know and for those of you that do not well... here is the simple and straight out story.

Last Tuesday I noticed a lump on my neck that was not there the night before. In fact, I didn't notice the lump until late in the day after having a brief coughing stint. I felt a little burning twinge and decided that it didn't feel right and went into the bathroom to take a look. I was taken back by the Quasimodo like lump on the left side of my neck. When Chris got home from work I immediately showed him and he proceeded to touch the lump and ask me questions as to whether it hurt or not. It didn't hurt. The only thing that hurt was my back/shoulder area which I contributed to tight muscles because of poor sleep or lack of sleep. Chris and I chalked the lump up to being part of the tight muscles and that it would go down on its own. I slept fine and the lump did not impede on me being comfortable. By the time I went to see a doctor on Thursday the lump had gotten a little bigger but still no pain. I hesitated seeing a doctor in the first place because Chris and I do not have insurance. With Chris just starting back to work our bills are just now getting caught up. So that was my mind frame up until now.

I was looking at $130.00 dollar office visit bill from the doctor. Chris told me not to worry about it and to just find out what it is. When the Dr. came in to perform his exam (which only took him about 5 minutes) he immediately told me to go to the ER. He didn't charge me anything either. By the time I got to the ER they were already aware that I was coming. The only thing I wasn't expecting was to have an EKG. My heart rate was sky high (my take was that I was extremely nervous) and I have never in my life seen doctors move as fast as they did. They moved fast but were very mindful that my daughter, Katie, was also in the room. I made arrangements with my mom to pick her up because Chris was at work and I couldn't reach him.

I did have blood taken, about 10 freaking tubes full, and a CAT scan. The doctor told me that they could see two masses. The lump on my neck and one at the base of my tongue. I was being admitted and I would see An ENT (Ears, nose and throat specialist) in the morning. When the ENT did come in to see me he stuck a camera down my nose and confirmed that there was a large mass that would he would need to biopsy. So on September 11th, 2009 at 3:10pm I had the biopsy. The doctor did tell Chris that he is sure by the appearance and the characteristics of the mass they took out that it is along the lines of the lymphoma family. My doctor stated that he would not have said cancer if he wasn't sure of the results. I believe he told me so that there would be no surprises when I do see him.

I am still coming to terms with it and haven't fully accepted it... Yes, I did cry but not in front of my kids. I have no idea how we are going to be able to afford all this medical crap! That is what mostly has me worried. Stupid, I know but I am still worrying!

Tuesday, September 1, 2009


So ya gotta hang on til tomorrow, come what may.... That is what my family has done for the last couple of months. Believe me, we are holding on tight!!!