Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Step daughter Dilemna

I don't know how many of you know the history behind my stepdaugther, but she is something else.  The last time she lived with us was back in 2007.  She was supposed to get her GED and then start community college. On her 18th birthday she up'd and left with her boyfriend of 2 months. 

It is now 2010 and she came back to live with her grandparents (because she knows she would not get away with shit here) while her fiance completed his basic training in Kentucky.  Within one week of coming here she turned around and went back to finish moving their belongings and to clean the apartment.  She was supposed to come back two days later.  That two days turned into six weeks.  All of a sudden she has broken off with her fiance because she claims he cheated on her when they separated a few months back and without telling him it was over she just stopped communicating with him and his family. She had the nerve to be pissed at the fiance and his family because they wanted to take the car back.  It may have been bought for her to use but the parents were still making payments and it was still in his name.  So she had no choice but to come back to the grandparents.  And on top of that while she was away she had been living with her friend and her family and sleeping with her friends brother, who by the way is her boyfriend now. 

Now, I happen to like her boyfriend.  Smart kid and very responsible and very, very sensitive.  The sad thing is he is starting to realize that the girl he fell in love with is a fake. Chris invited him to come live with us because 1. He thought it would give his daughter a reason to stay instead of flip flopping and 2. There are no jobs in the area where his family lives.  I have had him help me several times with the condos and he works at the same place as Jeff.  We have told him numerous times that he is welcomed to stay with us as long as he needs to and even if they break up we will not kick him out. He has become like family.

She is the most irresponsible and self centered person I have come across in a very long time.  She is registered to start college next Monday.  Chris and Jeff have already gotten their books, i.d. and parking decals. She was supposed to go with them but she cancelled because she had a stomach ache.  I really don't think she is even going to start college.  I don't even think she will be staying here through the weekend.  I have a feeling that she will be leaving town as of this weekend.  Why?

She has been communicating with her ex and now that the grandparents have co-signed for a brand new Chevy Cobalt, she thinks it is her ticket to do whatever it is that she wants.  I won't be surprised in the least if she tells her boyfriend that she has decided to go back without any regards to his feelings.  He will be stuck here.  Sure he could go back home but there is nothing else to go back to but his family.  I am hoping like hell that the grandparents step up and take that car away from her because I guarantee you she will not be able to pay for it and they can't afford it either.  She has a job here.  She can't get a job there. 

I want so much to step in and make her see what an ass she is.  Chris on the other hand feels that she needs to fall flat on her face first.  The boyfriend has already told her that if he catches her in one more lie than they are over and to be honest I don't think she cares about him.  It is so frustrating to see all this going down and not knowing what to do.


Christine said...

I think Chris is right about letting her fall flat on her face. Too many other people are enabling her irresponsible behavior, as long as people keep bailing her out, she'll continue with the bad behavior.

I'm guessing that the reason she needed someone to co-sign on a car loan is that her credit is shot to hell. This sort of thing almost never ends well. Half the cases on those TV judge shows are ones where someone co-signed for a loan, then had to sue because the person they co-signed for did not make the payments.

The boyfriend sounds nice. He'll be better off without her.

Mindy said...

Christine: The reason that Chris' parents co-signed is that Brittany doesn't have any credit. They call it new credit. Needless to say I know this is not going to end well. I know that she needs to face things on her own but I would love to be able to just give her my two cents. Every time I see her I chomp at the bit.
Her boyfriend is more family to us than she is. It's hard to say that but it is true. The only reason she even comes to our home is to see him. If he wasn't here. We wouldn't see her unless she needed or wanted something.

This Belle Rocks said...

Some lessons you just need to learn on your own, and it sounds like the stepdaughter is determined to not listen to anyone else. What else can you do at this point?

Still, hope it all works out for all of you. It sounds like she has a great boyfriend, and she obviously has an opportunity to get an education. It's a shame she doesn't realize how lucky she is!