Wednesday, January 13, 2010

No mirrors please. I don't want to crack them

Since the surgery, I have lost almost 20 pounds. Not quite what I expected but it's still something. I am not sure whether or not I should try consulting some of the best weight loss supplements or wait and see what happens. My doctor told me that I should lose the weight easily, now that I don't have a huge tumor/cyst pressing against my thryoid anymore.

But I feel like it should have already happened and yet it has only been two months today that I had the surgery. I guess I am just pushing myself too hard and wanting results now. But, I am more active and I am cleaning more homes each week and my appetite is the same as it has always been but something still isn't right. The energy still isn't there. I don't know maybe it's just me. I have never been this heavy and I absolutely hate it. I hate the way it makes me look, I hate the way it makes me feel and I hate it that I got this way through no fault of my own. I could understand if I "let myself go" but I haven't and it is so irritating. I am in constant fear that I will always be this heavy and even though it may not be true it is true in my mind now.

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