Sunday, July 1, 2007

Here we go...

I always knew that this could be a possibility. Chris' 17 yr old daughter from a previous marriage is having problems with her mom. I would consider it typical teenage/young adult stage but her mom doesn't seem to want to deal with it and would rather pawn her off either to Chris or a psych ward. Chris' daughter has been diagnosed Bi-Polar and apparently she has not been taking her medications. I love her and I would love for her to stay with us permanently but I do have reservations as to how she will behave in our home. I think this is going to be a difficult ride for everyone involved. She isn't truthful(most teens aren't to an extent) and she has had problems with her behavior in the past so I am not exactly sure what to expect.

She used to live with her dad up until she was 11 when she decided she would be better off with her mom. Ever since then she has turned into this rebellious girl. I can't say for sure but I believe her mom had a lot to do with her behavior. Chris and his ex wife have never gotten along and I am positive that she has bad mouthed her father in front of her. It's not right but she does it.

If anyone has any knowledge on how to deal with a troubled teenager I would really appreciate any advice you could give me. I want to be supportive but definitely do no want to be an enabler or pushover.


Humincat said...

You are probably going to be the enemy in the end, when your hubby puts his foot down, so look forward to that. I love your positive outlook, and wish you the best. I didn't have "steps" but my mom's partner (yeah, that kind), lived with us during the worst of my teen years and she pretty much stayed out of any arguments and any discipline and was just there as my mom's friend. I recommend that approach since she never gave me any ammunition against her, I never really had a problem with her. I knew she was on my mom's side, but she didn't get into any confrontational issues with me. If I started mouthing off to her, she'd just go outside for a smoke or go in another room. I don't know how easy that will be for you, since you are in the house more and you have other children you "mom", to not "mom" her will be very hard, even for the rest of the family. Your hubby probably assumes you will and the other kids might be resentful of her getting away with stuff. But she'll be an adult soon, and there is no reason for you to get in any fights with her or others over her current attitude or whatever. Best of luck.

Mindy said...

Humincat - Ahh thanks for the confidence hon. Chris and I have discussed the possibility of her "going off", and it probably going to be towards him. So when that happens I have been instructed to take our kids and leave the room. We do not want to give her ammo to come at the rest of us. We have never had a problem with her nor she with us and we want to keep it that way. We give it about three weeks before she snaps because right now she is thinking she is on a vacation but I am sure reality is going to sink in pretty soon.