I am tired of being fat.

I am in a bit of a funk today. This time of year it seems easy to get into this state of mind. I don't know what it is about the holiday season that creates the state of depression. I mean, we spend time with loved ones that we may or may not see all too often during the year, Delicious foods with pleasing aromas fill the air and the family unity symbolizes love, peace and happiness right? While I look forward to that I have trepidations because I am just not happy with myself and my appearance. I know that many of you may think it is silly to worry about that because after all family and friends accept us for what we are and not our appearance. But still….

My biggest problem is the fact that I am at my heaviest weight since I was pregnant with Jeff. I gained a whopping 60 pounds then. It took me two years to lose it and I maintained the weight even while pregnant with Katie. I gained a healthy 20 pounds with her. Ever since moving to Florida five years ago it just seems like the weight is steadily increasing and the thing that really pisses me off is that I have done absolutely nothing to promote it. I have been increasing my walks in the morning in effort to lose but it's not happening. I have gained 20 additional pounds since March. I am seriously considering taking Phentermine 37.5 mg to help me lose at least 20 pounds that I have gained.

My grandmother who is a retired nurse has always been conscious of her weight throughout the years. She would count calories and really do a good job at sticking to a healthy eating regiment. When she was 40 years old she had a total hysterectomy done because of the onset of endometriosis and the beginning of menopause. Back in those days there was no such thing as a premenopausal condition. She gained weight soon after because she was never put on hormones. She packed on about 40 pounds in just a few short months. Let's face it, after the age of 30 a woman's metabolism severely starts to decline. It makes it so hard for us to lose and maintain weight. She lost it with a very strict diet (which if I can remember right, she was starving herself) and she has maintained and even lost more in the 40 years since. We talked about my problem with not being able to lose and gain with no rhyme or reason. I told her about my walks and being physically busy in hopes to rev up the metabolism. What she told me next shocked the heck out of me. Although exercise promotes our bodies to stay in shape it is not the means to lose it. Watching our calorie intake and eating better foods, not eating fried, over processed, and food packed with preservatives. Family history of obesity is a major factor on how to avoid the inevitable. In her opinion, I could exercise all the damn time and still have a hard time taking the pounds off. I need to give my body a catalyst to help it fight the pounds and that is by eating differently than I have been used to. The American Standard Diet has declined in nutritional value over the years and we are a nation of steadily increasing porkers. I think maybe we should go back to how life was in the 50-60's when we grocery shopped daily to get the freshest of foods and made everything from scratch. I don't remember too many women of the sitcoms of those days being overweight. They were on to something that has been lost.