Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Something I don't need right now.

I am going to have to make a doctors appointment soon.  I have putting this off for many, many months.  The only thing that has really been keeping me from doing so in the first place, is no insurance.  Sure I could go to the ER like every other person in the world that doesn't have medical insurance but it is not an immediate danger scenario.  I know that our county has a health department that allows you to pay on a sliding scale depending on what you can afford.  The only problem with that is the enrolling times do not fit within my availability hours.  However, I can't wait no more.  The symptoms are getting worse and eventually I won't be able to clean and that is not good.

What grabbed my attention that I can no longer go on like this... was the simple task of cleaning out my linen closet.  I went to grab a bottle of tan lotion and I couldn't even hold it.  The pain was so severe that it just slipped through my hand. Every joint in my body and my back ache and crack all the time. The simple task of flipping burgers, draining pasta, carrying a pan is getting to be too much for me.  I rely on someone else to do that stuff now. That isn't the only thing that concerns me.

 For months now I have noticed that my scalp is so dry and itchy and no matter how I treated for it (Tea Tree oil and Head and Shoulders), it is not getting better and I am losing my hair because of it.  I had full, thick hair and now it is about half of what I had.  No bald spots but it could definitely get there.  I have been writing down everything that I have noticed is not normal for me.

 I can't tolerate cold things.  I try and mix a meatloaf with all the cold ingredients and by the time I am finished my hands burn and itch like crazy.  I can't grab bags out of the freezer without experiencing the same thing.  The best way I can describe that feeling is like coming out of the bitter cold blizzard and thawing out near a fire.  You get the burning sensation before you completely thaw. It's unreal.

My face is puffy. Looks like I have been going a few rounds with a boxer and I am pale.  Itchy dry skin everywhere and no amount of lotion helps.  I don't live up north anymore and the weather here has been gorgeous so I am at a complete loss. 

Consistent weight gain.  This is beyond frustrating for me.  You have no idea how angry I am about this.  I clean for a living.  I work up a sweat every single day and I haven't lost an ounce let alone pounds.  I have been relying on fruits and yogurt to curtail hunger pains when I work and in hopes that it will help with the energy level.  Nothing.

Fatigue up the butt and so sluggish, I don't even know how I pull through my cleaning jobs.  By the time I come home I have to take a nap. I take naps every single day even when I am not working. I am tired all the time.  Tired even after sleeping all night.  This is not me.  I absolutely hate that I am falling apart like this. I turn 40 on Saturday this shouldn't be a sign of that.

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